Ultrasound Results
5 days passed and I hadn’t heard from the doctor. Standard.
I was resisting the urge to call so I could stay a bit longer in blissful ignorance. I finally took the plunge on the 6th day. No-one was available to talk to me. The doctor’s assistant would call me back. I went to work. Work for me at that time involved many different jobs, one of which was tutoring teenagers. I was in the middle of a Spanish session when my phone rang. I looked at the screen, unkown number, vibrating away. “You can get it, I’m going to grab some water anyway” my student offered. “Want some?” I nodded, I had a feeling I’d need it.
I answered the phone. “Hi this is Samara from Dr. Berinka’s office, I’m calling with your results” I held my breath. She continued. “Everything came back normal”. I exhaled. Wait, what? That was not what I was expecting. “I’m sorry – normal?” I half whispered – full of disbelief. “Yes, pap smear was all clear. You’re good for another year” My heart sank. Pap Smear results. Of course. I’d completely forgotten about that enjoyable procedure. “Well, that’s good but I was really calling about my pelvic ultrasound results? I had them done 6 days ago now…” I was put on a brief hold. My student was now back and had most certainly heard far too much about my reproductive health. I gestured to her that I would be back in a minute and I moved into the hallway and waited for another couple of minutes. “Hi, ah yes – the pelvic ultrasounds results. Well, the doctor identified a cyst on your left ovary and several lesions in and around your uterus consistent with fibroids.” If I’m honest, I think I blanked out once I heard the words “cyst” and “ovary”. My mind immediately started racing with thoughts of infertility and cancer. I’d find out pretty soon that ovarian cysts are mightily common, nothing to really worry about and come and go all the time between cycles. “Sorry can you repeat that?” She did. I listened to everything this time. “Okay….so what now? What’s the next step?” I realized in that moment how pragmatic I was. Something I began to learn about myself on this journey. I had received some news that I didn’t fully understand and that wasn’t ideal and so the next step was to find out more. “The doctor recommends going for a follow up ultrasound after your next cycle to confirm these findings” That wasn’t a satisfactory response in my book. “But the ultrasounds, both of them, showed stuff…I mean, clearly there’s something there and the next step would be to get rid of it not fork out another $250 to be told the same things again? I’m not rich. I can’t afford weekly ultrasounds” I was losing my previous composure. I realize my reaction was mostly because what the doctor was recommending involved waiting essentially another 4 weeks before I would hear anything further. Patience is not a virtue of mine. When I was a baby, my first word was “Now” and that’s pretty much how I’ve lived my life since. “The doctor recommends repeating the pelvic ultrasound and she also suggests that now might be a good time to find yourself a Gynecologist. Give us a call if you have any other questions.” With that, she was gone.
In Ireland, we don’t have specific doctors, our GP handles it all…from paediatrics to gynaecology but in the USA, things are different. So, find one I would. I suppose it was time, I was 34 after all and it looked like my uterus was crying out for attention. Before I returned to my student I texted my Mum “What’s a fibroid?” I then realized that it was the middle of the night where she was so she’d wake up to that little gem of a message in the morning. “No panic. Just curious”